I quit my job, I bought a one way ticket, and I flew to the other side of the world.
I played with elephants in Thailand, I drove a scooter around Vietnam, I explored the Malaysian jungle, I surfed in Australia, and I climbed mountains in New Zealand.
And I did it by myself!
Before I went away I wrote a post saying how solo travel had always seemed impossible to me. Up until I jumped on that plane, it still felt impossible. I remember so clearly how completely terrified I was before I left, crying on my own in the toilets at Heathrow airport as I waited to board my flight to Bangkok. To be honest, my 6 month target seemed like an unreachable task, and I didn't think I'd last longer than half of that. I had a list of countries and a rough idea of the route I'd take, and that was it. How was I ever going to make this work?
But my winging it was successful, and 8 months later, here I am sat back home in my lounge having returned a week ago, pinching myself to prove that it wasn't all just some crazy whirlwind dream.
I've done a lot over the last 8 months. I spent 4 of them exploring South East Asia, following the "banana pancake trail" of Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam, before heading down through Malaysia and Singapore. A slight diversion by a volcanic eruption changed my plans, and I spent a month travelling up Australia's East coast, building up a cracking tan as I went. Another change of plans saw me spending 2 months driving around and falling in love with New Zealand, before finally ending my trip with a quick visit to Sri Lanka.
I've done a lot and I've seen a lot. I completely pushed myself out of my comfort zone and challenged myself every single day. I spent all of my money, but I gained even more memories and learnt a lot of valuable lessons. And I can honestly say I've never been prouder of myself for what I've achieved.
Like many people, I've always struggled with self doubt. Everything I did was accompanied with a thought that I wasn't good enough. So I went on this trip on my own to get rid of all of those thoughts that I couldn't do it and prove to myself that, actually, I could.
I won't pretend that it's been easy, and it certainly wasn't as glamorous as most social media makes out. I found myself in situations that made me question why I was doing it, and I almost booked a flight home multiple times. But without the bad stuff, there wouldn't be any of the good, and if I had to choose between both or neither, then the bad was certainly worth it. And besides, it would be boring without a challenge!
I've had a lot of people express their disbelief at what I was doing. People asked if I was scared. They asked if I was lonely. They said how they could never do what I was doing, or that they wanted to but they were afraid. I feel like these words from Cheryl Strayed are a good response:
"So much of the most important things I've ever done in my life that have actually enriched my life all happened because I decided that I wasn't going to let fear hold me back... Being fearless is not being unafraid, it's existing with your fear."
Was I scared? Of course. Did I get lonely? Yes. But I wasn't always scared, and I wasn't always lonely. Because I learnt to move past these things and continue despite them. By travelling on my own and having no one to rely on apart from myself, I couldn't let fear or loneliness hold me back or overwhelm me, because if I did I wouldn't have made it through those 8 months. I wouldn't have even stepped on that plane in the first place. And my dreams would remain just that - dreams. Once I realised that I could move past this fear, I realised I could do just about anything. Could I regain the courage to go outside on my own again after being mugged? Yes. Could I jump out of a plane at 11,000 feet? Sure, why not. Leap off the highest bunjy in New Zealand? Sign me up! This is why I think everyone should travel on their own at least once. It could be for months, weeks, even just a few days. And if it scares you, then that's even more reason to do it - you'll surprise yourself!
But not only will you see this different side to yourself, you'll see a different side to other people. Media is so full of scare-mongering when it comes to portraying other countries, even more so when you're a young female travelling on your own. It's why I had so many people asking me if I was scared. Sure, you'll meet a few bad eggs - they're back in your own country too! - but you'll see that the bad is the minority here. When you're on your own you'll find yourself in situations where you have no other choice but to rely on the kindness of strangers, and I've met some of the most kind and open people in my life on this trip who I wouldn't have met if I'd been travelling with someone else. From the people who welcomed me into their homes, to the drivers who picked me up when I was hitchhiking, to the man who calmed me down with a hug and paid for a tuk-tuk to take me to the police station after I was mugged - there's a lot of good in the world out there, you just need the courage to go and see it for yourself.
It's been one hell of an adventure, and while it's strange coming back down to normality (not to mention the unwelcome shock of the cold and rainy English weather), it's nice to be home. After a certain amount of time, constantly moving around becomes exhausting and eventually you have to stop and rest. Besides, there are only so many hostels and shared dorms I could put up with!
That is until the travel bug kicks in again...
Love,
Beth xxx
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