Recently I've been trying to make my resolutions be something that would really make a change and help me improve as a person. They're not things to tick off a list as soon as I achieve them (don't get me wrong, I've got those type of separate goals for 2015 too), but my resolutions are more something I start and strive to continue doing throughout my life to help me be a better person. This year I decided to focus on something that's been an issue most of my life, so while it's not going to be easy to change, I feel it's important that I do.
The other day my mum handed me an article she'd seen in "Style" magazine called "Mind Games", listing "13 things mentally strong people don't do". Number 5 stated "they don't worry about pleasing everyone". This got me thinking. My whole life I've always cared about what other people think and never wanted to do anything that would upset them, but as a result I was often called "too nice". I used to think that this was never a problem; since when did being "too nice" become a bad thing? But sure enough, my "niceness" grew to be one of my flaws. When I was younger, I was stuck in the middle of an argument between two of my friends who both wanted me to go to their two separate plans; to avoid having to choose between them, I decided to go to neither. I've grown up absolutely hating confrontation, so as a result I struggle telling people when they've annoyed or upset me, and usually instead choose to bottle up my feelings and forget about them. I want to please everyone, but as a result I often sacrifice doing what pleases me. And what's worse is that I know I do it. I have become what I've always insisted I'm not: a doormat.
So this year my resolution for 2015 is this:
I will not be a doormat.
A lot of my negativity comes from other people and my worries about not doing what they want me to do. But this year I'm going to be brave and I am going to concentrate on what I want to do, regardless of other people, and build up the courage to let them know when they've upset me. I need to stop myself from trying to please everyone, because unfortunately that's just not possible. In the words of Bill Cosby:
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody"
This doesn't mean that I'm not still going to be "too nice". I like being nice and I like making other people happy, that's just who I am. But I have to realise when other people aren't doing the same back for me. So, cliche as it is, this year I'm going to do what's right for me.
What are your resolutions for 2015?
No comments:
Post a Comment