Saturday, 14 February 2015

Long Distance

Happy Valentine's day! I hope you all have a lovely day treating yourselves, be it with your significant other, friends, or by yourself. Go on, you deserve a little pampering!
As it's Valentine's day and my social media is filled with photos of presents and happy couples spending the day together, I decided to write about something a little close to home, as although I do have a valentine, I won't be seeing him today.

Before I started uni I was a bit of a commitment-phobe; I've always been a very independent person, and adding to the mix that I'd never had a boyfriend before made the thought of relationships a little scary. Moving to a university over 200 miles away from home in my mind put any long distance relationship out of the question, and as I struggled with the idea of commitment anyway I couldn't really imagine it being a possibility.

Fast forward to the end of Summer just before going back to university for my second year where, on a night out with my friends, I meet a guy. We exchange numbers, go on a few dates, and then a couple of weeks later I move back to Cornwall. In all honesty, as experience has taught me, I was expecting any contact between us to gradually fizzle out after going back to uni. But fast forward again to the middle of my third year, and I've somehow found myself in the long distance relationship 18-year-old Beth didn't think she'd be able to have. How did that happen?
It will come as no surprise that long distance relationships are hard. For some people they work, for others they don't. Simply put, it depends on the type of person you are and what you're expecting from your relationship. If you need constant contact with your other half, where you need to know what they're doing at all times, who they're with, why they didn't call you that one time, then chances are long distance relationships aren't for you. Now I'm no relationship guru, but I think I've figured out the key to long distance relationships, and really it's not that complicated. Simply, like with all relationships, you need trust and communication. Long distance will mean that you won't know what your other half is doing at all times, but you need to trust that they aren't doing anything you need to worry about. And if you are worried about something, you need to communicate that to them, otherwise being left on your own with those worried thoughts will gradually build them up and up until they are blown way out of proportion.

We're lucky these days to have so many ways to easily keep in contact with people far away. Be it via phone calls, messaging, Skype, keeping communication with someone is the easiest it's ever been before. Imagine the times when the only way to talk to someone far away was through a letter sent via pigeon (my historical knowledge may not be completely accurate). Count your blessings that it's so easy to talk to people now!
But enough with the serious stuff. It's not all doom and gloom in a long distance relationship. Here are a few of the perks:

1. Saving money

Relationships are expensive. There's no way around it, unless you're in a completely expense free relationship where days out, restaurant meals etc. are off the cards, in which case you can skip this point! But for those of you who do appreciate a nice fancy meal out, the bills can tend to pile up. If you're in a long distance relationship though, date nights won't be happening very often. Instead use that money to buy yourself something nice!

2. Independence

Or as Reiss put it, "you don't have to be a boyfriend all the time". In a long distance relationship, you aren't living out of each others' pockets 24/7. You can make plans without having to worry about it clashing with boyfriend / girlfriend time, you can meet up with those friends your other half doesn't really like, you can effectively do whatever you want (within reason of course, you're still in a relationship remember).   

3. Space

Let's be honest, even in the most loving relationship it is possible to get annoyed with your other half. Maybe you fell out, maybe they said something offensive, maybe they're just in an irritating mood. Whatever it is, being in a long distance relationship means it's very easy to have some space, you just have to put your phone down. Whatever the issue is though, if it's something that has seriously upset you make sure you let your other half know, otherwise they'll be completely unaware of how you feel.

4. Less maintenance

We all like to look nice for our other halves, but as you won't be seeing a lot of them in long distance relationships, you don't have to go to as much effort! Haven't shaved your legs in a while? No worries, no one's going to be seeing them any time soon!

5. Being reunited

You haven't seen each other in months, the majority of your communication is via text, all you want is a cuddle. For all the bad things about being in a long distance relationship, at the end of it when you do finally see each other again, it's all the more special.

So instead of spending Valentine's day with my valentine, I will be munching on the chocolates sent to me in the post, and tonight I will be watching 50 Shades of Grey, drinking some cocktails and then heading out to party into the early hours of the morning. It's not all bad!

Are you in a long distance relationship? How are you spending your Valentine's day?

Love, Beth xxx

(Disclaimer: images taken from my Pinterest account, I claim no ownership)

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