Saturday, 7 March 2015

Early quarter-life crisis
I guess there are a lot of moments in people's lives where they have a bit of an identity crisis. I think I've hit mine.

In July I will be graduating from university, and then I don't know what will happen after. I don't like to stress about the future, but at the moment I can't even visualise where I might possibly be in a few months time. Strangely enough, I had the same feeling before coming to uni; after college I just couldn't imagine where my life was going to go. I guess it's that big looming change getting ever closer, knowing your life will soon be completely different. And this sense of the unknown is very daunting, and ever so slightly terrifying.

I don't know if it's this worry, but recently I've been feeling very anxious. I've always been quite self-conscious, but I've become very aware of myself and how I act around others. Quite a lot of the time I find myself acting as someone who I'm not. I'll be very withdrawn and struggle to say what I really want to say, all the while knowing that I'm giving off the wrong impression of myself. This isn't the person I am, and it's not the person I want people to think I am.

I like to think of myself as a person who knows exactly who they are, who isn't worried about fitting in with other people, but in reality I'm struggling to find myself. I'm already a lot different to the person I was this time last year, but is that necessarily a good thing? I'm currently having a bit of an identity crisis, but one thing I do know is that I always try to be as positive as possible, so it's time for a pep talk.
A lot of people don't know who they are for a long time. Different aspects of us are constantly changing, both for better and for worse. It's up to us which aspects we allow to change though. We all have an image of the type of person we want to be, or the person we want to be like; what's stopping you from being that person? If I'm going to change, I want to change for better. I don't want to fit in with the crowd, I often find the crowd unoriginal. I want to stand out, but not in an attention seeking way, in a positive way. I want to inspire other people to step out of the crowd, be themselves and be happy with who they are. We are constantly seeking other people's approval, scared of their judgement. This is something that I need to stop from holding me back. As long as you're happy, doing what you love and living the life you want, then that's all that matters. I know this is easier said than done, but take baby steps. Focus on the things that you love, make time for them everyday, don't let your worries make you forget about them. As for other people, don't focus on them, focus on yourself and making the happiest life for yourself regardless of what they may or may not think.
As for the future, that probably won't stop being daunting. Because the unknown is a daunting thing. But there's no point in worrying about something where you don't know what will happen. However, we can control our futures through what we do now. And the first step for me: stop worrying about life after uni and make the most of it while I'm still here!
For anyone else experiencing this quarter-life crisis, remember you're not alone! Life isn't a race, it's a journey. If you're not where you want to be right now, don't lose hope. Keep trying and you'll get there. And if you haven't figured out where you want to be, there's still plenty of time to decide. Just enjoy life! For more reassurance and advice, give this article a read (because Buzzfeed is good for more than just cute cat videos).  

Keep smiling!

Love, Beth xxx

(Disclaimer: images taken from my Pinterest account, I claim no ownership)

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